What Awakens Advent
Sebastian Modarelli - Did you ever fall in love? Especially the first time, when you still were open to the fulfilment of your desires, not yet stained by the skepticism that grows later as the desires remain unfulfilled (not because they are wrong, but because they mistake their object). Take a moment to remember the connotations of such an experience. The presence of that person, or even the remembrance of him or her (let’s say “her” to use my point of view), would stir in you the purest part of your being, a hidden gem that you couldn’t even remember that it could feel like that. For a mysterious reason, out of the blue, that presence (and not other ones) magnetized all your attention. The first thought in the morning is the desire of her, your hope is to spend your lives together, because your entire being comes to the surface in front of her. You can’t be yourself without her. And you also want to become a better person for the sake of her love. You simply can’t imagine a life without her.
In my description above, however, I left something out. Something without which, as I already said, the desires that that presence awakens remain unfulfilled, and we grow skeptical. There is an imminent lie in everything I said, if we are not honest with the entire experience. It’s not her eyes, her smile, her temperament, her loving you… or better, yes, it’s all that, but it is so much, so deep, that you cannot but say “You” to a mystery, to Someone who makes all of her and who is calling you. That is the Beauty of which all the other beauties are a sign.
If this seems an abstract and complicated reasoning to us, know that it was not so for the Italian villagers of the 13th century. There would not be other way to explain how they could sing (in an artistically unmatched summit) about that same experience, but in reference to Christ, with the same desire that you felt for that first love. Don’t take my word for it: you can listen to any of the Laude recorded here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=csmYWAW3Vig
That recording was not made by experts on medieval music, but by people who encountered the same love that those villagers encountered. Hence the authentic youthfulness of their singing, not found in professional recordings. It’s enough to listen to the first song to understand everything I tried (and failed) to express. Unsurprisingly, I could not find a translation in English on the entire internet. Please accept the one that these same friends have prepared*:
Those who do not love you,
sweet Jesus, above all loves,
waste too much time.
Love, whoever loves you is not idle,
he finds it so sweet to taste you
but still he lives in longing
to love you more;
for the heart is so glad for you
that those who do not feel it cannot speak of it
how sweet it is to taste your savor.
A savor without compare;
o woe is me! My heart tastes so little of you.
Nothing consoles me, though I have
the whole world, but not you.
O sweet love, Jesus, in whom I hope,
rule my heart that I may not leave you
but grasp your sweetness more and more.
A sweetness that overcomes every bitterness
and changes everything into your sweetness,
those who tasted this know
the saints who went to a sweet death in bitterness.
But the sweet food that you are, Jesus,
strengthened them, and you were so sweet to their hearts,
that you overcame every pain.
Those who served you, Jesus my love
sweeter than every delight;
those who are unconcerned for you
cannot know how sweet and loving you are;
the heart finds no other rest
if not in you, Jesus, perfect love,
consoler of those who serve you.
*(taken from the Spirto Gentil collection: https://slantbooks.org/books/spirto-gentil)
The loving presence always awakens our desire and our expectation. There is no Advent without this.
