Christ's Tenderness Toward His Friends

A lone hiker stands on a dark clifftop, facing a wide bay where low sun breaks beneath a heavy bank of storm cloud.

Alone above the bay, where the light breaks under the weather.

Jesus does not ask ‘Who do you say that I am?’ to expose his friends or to catch them out. He asks out of tenderness — because no definition, however perfect, can stand in for a person’s free and personal ‘yes.’ And of that ‘yes,’ he himself is the staunchest defender.
— Simone Riva
Simone Riva When Desire Triumphs Over Power

Simone Riva - "But who do you say that I am?" Jesus asked. Peter's answer is a mystery: it comes from the Spirit. But the Spirit speaks first and foremost to our hearts.

There comes a point when popular opinion, the world's idle chatter, the feats trumpeted in the newspapers, carefully engineered fame, success measured in numbers, and the composure of those who defend appearances no longer hold up. It is the moment when the very question that caught the disciples off guard that day cuts through everything: "But who do you say that I am?" (Mt 16:15).

Just imagining the silence that must have fallen a moment later is enough to send a chill down your spine. Not one of them had ever asked himself that question, even though they had talked about everything else during those years of living side by side. All at once, Christ sets them in front of their own experience: "Who am I to you?" It is like those conversations in which people say all sorts of things and someone suddenly asks, "But what is your own experience of what you're saying? Where are you in the words you're using?"

Jesus has no intention of putting his disciples on trial in public to prove that they still do not understand who he truly is. He never turns against anyone, except the Enemy. His question springs from an infinite tenderness for that group of friends he had chosen—friends who, at times, forgot that nothing can take the place of the one true reason for following him: their free and personal "yes."

The silence, though, is broken by the impetuousness of the first of the apostles: "You are the Christ, the Son of the living God" (Mt 16:16). Our Peter sounds as if he had just stepped out of a catechism class. A flawless definition, the kind that earns a round of applause and a mandate to spread far and wide the identity of Jesus, declared at last. Instead, what comes is the most unexpected revelation of all: "Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah. For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my Father who is in heaven."

Peter senses that he is dealing with the relationship between Jesus and the Father, and yet he probably does not grasp the real meaning of Christ's answer—nor, for that matter, the task, or rather the "charism," that the Lord entrusts to him a moment later, binding his name to it forever.

The disciples must have thought back to what had happened a few days earlier, which the Gospel recounts without flinching: "In coming to the other side of the sea, the disciples had forgotten to bring bread. Jesus said to them, 'Look out, and beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and the Sadducees.' But they were talking among themselves and saying, 'We didn't bring any bread!'" (Mt 16:5–7).

Christ and the apostles often seem to be operating on two different wavelengths, and the question about the place they had reserved for the Master in their lives looks like an extreme act of charity—so that they would not go on following him without being convinced of the reasons for doing so. Jesus knows that having real reasons is one of those things we most often spare ourselves, hoping that no one will ever ask us, "But where do you stand on what you're saying?"—and will instead leave us to our own devices while we keep doing what we have always done.

But the Mystery lies in wait for us through its great ally: our heart. In the long run, words, discussions, interpretations, strategies, and slogans are no longer enough for us, because we need solid ground on which to build a life. That is why, if we are honest with ourselves, we start looking around to see who is truly able to keep us company at the level of our most fundamental need. The end of the Gospel episode shows exactly that—and shows all the patience God is willing to have so that each person can make the discovery for himself: "Then he ordered his disciples to tell no one that he was the Christ" (Mt 16:20).

It is not enough that Peter was enlightened and said the right thing. Neither is what will be born of that answer enough, nor the awareness that will slowly take root in his life and in the lives of his friends. Everything still needs what Jesus needed when he decided to offer himself to human freedom: our personal "yes," of which he himself is the staunchest defender.

Simone Riva

Don Simone Riva, born in 1982, is an Italian Catholic priest ordained in 2008. He serves as parochial vicar in Monza and teaches religion. Influenced by experiences in Peru, Riva authors books, maintains an active social media presence, and participates in religious discussions. He's known for engaging youth and connecting faith with contemporary

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