Fleeing the You

Silhouette of a person under a starry night sky with forest horizon, symbolizing wonder, reflection, and human longing.

Person silhouetted against a vast starry night sky, evoking wonder, contemplation, mystery, and the search for meaning.

If we strip away relationship—the very thing that makes us human—we end up acting exactly like artificial intelligence.
— Cesare Maria Cornaggia
Cesare Maria Cornaggia ENGLISH - Fleeing the You
Cesare Maria Cornaggia ITALIANO - In fuga dal Tu
Cesare Maria Cornaggia ESPAÑOL - Huyendo del Tú
Cesare Maria Cornaggia FRANÇAIS - Fuir le « Tu »

Cesare Maria Cornaggia - The Flight from Relationship in a Society That Has Cast Out God.

Being in relationship today strikes me, at every level, as increasingly rare and difficult—at least judging by what happens around us every day. Many people no longer even seem to look for relationship; they no longer seem to understand what it is or, as the consumer world would put it, what it’s good for, as though relationship were something outside us. I think this decline—this refusal of relationship, or this indifference to it—comes from the fact that we’ve lost any real sense of what being in relationship fundamentally means: that we can say we “are” only insofar as we “are in relationship.”

Put that way, it might sound like an abstract axiom, or something marginal to our lives. To understand it better, we can turn to Martin Buber, the great Austrian Jewish philosopher of the last century, who held that a human being is not an isolated entity but exists only when it enters into relationship. Not, of course, an I-It (Ich-Es) relationship with the other as an object, but an I-You (Ich-Du) relationship—a relationship with the other as a person. It rests not on analyzing, using, or cataloguing the other, but on welcoming the other whole. And this I-You relationship carries one essential element: reciprocity.

Buber also introduces the idea of the Between (das Zwischen): the relationship lies not inside one party or the other but in the space between them. This means the identity of the I does not precede the relationship. The I comes into being by saying You—think of Luigi Giussani and his “I am You who make me.” And to round out Buber’s vision, we shouldn’t forget that, for him, every I-You relationship holds within it a gaze toward the eternal You (God), the only You that by its very nature can never become an It.

Faced with the challenges of today’s society—and perhaps with the challenge of artificial intelligence above all—I suspect that, once we set aside the predictable and superficial talk, AI doesn’t really frighten as many people as we might think. It’s convenient to settle into a rhythm of questions and answers without ever putting the “I” into play within a “You.” That, and that alone, is the real reason we can imagine, or fear, that artificial intelligence might replace us. Having banished relationship from within ourselves, we might even come to see the disappearance of what we call “human” as a good thing—precisely because we no longer know what it is.

So what is it that makes up this “human,” what sets it apart from artificial intelligence? In keeping with the thought of Thomas Fuchs—a psychiatrist and philosopher who today holds the Heidelberg chair once occupied by Karl Jaspers—three traits define the human: awareness of oneself, the capacity to reach understanding with another (and so to relate as I-You), and the ability to perceive the transcendent. All of this within our condition of “being a body.”

Seen this way, it becomes clear: if we strip away relationship—the very thing that makes us human—we end up acting exactly like artificial intelligence, locked in a total I-It. So it won’t be artificial intelligence that transforms us. We will transform ourselves, unknowingly, into something like artificial intelligence by abolishing relationship. We’ll be able to function without ever living an “I”—something that is likely already happening. The most obvious consequence: we become the perfect subject for power, easy to control.

Look around today and everything tells us the human was being abolished well before artificial intelligence arrived. Consider what’s happening in our schools, our families, the workplace, our politics; I see it myself in my consulting room, in the daily work of a psychiatrist. I’d venture a paradox: we seem to be dealing with people who haven’t yet realized they are no longer human—precisely because they live outside relationship—and all that’s left of the human is the argument over what it is.

I think we have to admit, and urgently, that once we rule out the possibility that our identity lies in that “Between”—and that transcendence passes through that “Between”—the ego can only assert itself, rigidly and violently, as an “I-object” confronting a “You-object.” Our relationships turn harsh for the simple reason that they aren’t relationships at all. Our dialogues collapse into mere dialectic. No one expects to have their identity called into question in the “Between” with another, and transcendence—God—falls even further out of view. This is the condition in which waiting becomes impossible. On the surface it looks like a narcissism with dramatic edges, but it has gone well past narcissism: this folding in on oneself isn’t even a form of pleasure, and as far as one can tell it serves no master. It’s simply the expression of the stark fact of no longer being human.

So we could say we don’t need artificial intelligence to put an end to the human. That end is already decreed the moment we stop recognizing ourselves as relational subjects and entrust our identity to ourselves alone. In Luigi Giussani’s terms, we have left wide-open room for the neglect of the self. And in expelling relationship, we have expelled the transcendent—God—along with it.

What surrounds us—from everyday relationships with our neighbors to the distress of families and young people, all the way to how we handle social and political questions in general, wars included—is the concrete consequence of all this. With no third term, no objective point of reference, and no relational identity of our own, anything goes. No line of thought moves along a path toward a truth worth reaching; instead, whoever has the most polished rhetoric or the loudest voice wins. It’s no accident that international politics has been heading exactly this way in recent years.

I firmly believe Pope Leo XIV’s voice deserves close attention. From the very first day of his pontificate, his appeal has been to put Christ at the center as we face the great problems of our time.

Alberto Cozzi

Born in 1963 in Rho, Italy, he has been a priest since 1987. A tenured professor and dean, he specializes in Trinitarian and Christological theology, teaching at Milan's seminary and theological faculty, with expertise in systematic theology and religious studies.

https://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/cfaith/cti_documents/rc_cti_index-members_en.html
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