Nothingness and the Quest for More Life

Nothingness is the sensation that everything you lack will never come. Everyone knows when it manifests — before the first cup of coffee.
— Fernando DeHaro
Nothingness and the quest for more life
Fernando De Haro

Fernando De Haro - Easter is a good time to reflect on what nothingness really is — and on what stands in the way of our encountering it honestly.

The word "nihilism" is everywhere today: in politics, in economics, across the internet. And it is almost always misused. Months ago, when the "six-seven" meme went viral, some interpreted it as proof that our digital lives are in search of meaningless expression. They call the inability of young people to access housing "economic nihilism." But this, too, has nothing to do with nothingness. It is the consequence of disastrous housing policy, a lack of social housing, and a long series of mistakes.

For some time now, most politicians have given little thought to the medium and long term. Polarization prevents them from reaching agreements on anything that requires patience. People speak of "political nihilism" to explain the crisis of trust, the weakness of democracy, the endless conflict, authoritarianism, the claim that whoever wins elections should control all institutions. All of this is negative. But these are merely consequences.

The adjective "nihilist" is often deployed as an ethical verdict. The fact that certain behaviors of elites, voters, or tech executives are reprehensible — even constituting forms of exploitation that deserve the harshest condemnation — does not mean we are sinking into nothingness. Even the fact that we are becoming hopelessly skeptical under a barrage of fake news is a bad thing: a disinterest bordering on nothingness. But it remains, nonetheless, a consequence.

Nothingness is something completely different. It is an endless yawn, an insurmountable indifference, a lack of energy fed by the perception that moments pass — sometimes at dizzying speed, sometimes with excruciating slowness — plunging into a desert of emptiness, into a tomb of forgetting.

Nothingness is the sensation that all the movements of the soul obey the same law that governs physics: gravity. The spirit inevitably collapses under its own weight. Nothingness is the sensation that everything you lack — and you always lack everything — will never come. No need for elaborate language. It is simpler than that. Everyone knows when true nothingness manifests itself: when, before drinking the first cup of coffee in the morning, one is already drowning in a sea of irrelevant worries. Everyone knows how much they would wish, with their last remaining breath of energy, that it were not so.

We have been taught that this experience — this moment of rebellion — has nothing to do with history. This almost unconscious revolt against the idea that everything is nothing has become the blind spot of science, economics, history, morality, religion, and a Christianity that has betrayed its own origins.

Scientists, politicians, religious preachers, and moralists have broken down this indivisible experience in order to write general, immutable, universal laws. Everyone fears the experience itself — that crossroads between being and nothingness that each of us embodies. Everyone wants us to think, feel, and evaluate the world from an objective point of view. Everyone wants us to look at ourselves from "nowhere."

This means condemning ourselves to nothingness. Without The I, there is no crossroads between nothingness and being. With The I silenced by universal history, universal science, universal morality, and universal Christianity, life is not intercepted when it manifests itself — with all the grace that characterizes it.

Life, when it manifests at the intersection, is easy to recognize. It does not destroy gravity, but makes it graceful. The law of decay is abrogated. Life, at the crossroads, is unmistakable: there are no more blind spots, only life that desires more life. No one desires what they do not have. And when life has conquered death, another life appears; you are marked, unable to stop seeking more life. You know that all the being you lack is coming toward you.

It is very simple. It does not require poetry. It does not take many words. For Mary Magdalene, one word was enough: "Master!" Happy Easter.

Fernando De Haro

Fernando de Haro is a Spanish journalist, academic, and radio director at COPE. With degrees in journalism, law, and a PhD in information science, he's known for documentaries on Christian persecution. De Haro explores religion's role in society through his media work and publications, including a book on Don Giussani's life.

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