Only What Endures

Only if there is a relationship with someone greater than you, who loves you more than you love yourself, can you truly sacrifice something.
— Fr. Pigi Banna
Only what endures
Pierluigi Banna

Pierluigi Banna - “We Love That Which Does Not Last Only in the Name of That Which Can Last”

Let us ask the Holy Spirit for the gift of light and strength—His light, which enables us to see what is true and frees us from the deception of falsehood; and His strength, which makes our weak bodies a seed of His presence in this world.1 To love again.2

The agenda we distributed opened with the second lesson of the Fraternity Exercises3: “How do we face the sacrifices that life imposes on us? What do the death and resurrection of Christ have to do with these sacrifices?” Many of you worked through this in your small groups, and the contributions we received bear witness to a bitterness that is sometimes felt in life—when sacrifice touches what is most true, when it touches what is most loved. A war may be raging in the world, as indeed it is, but when that bitterness descends, life seems to lose its meaning. This afternoon I want to revisit the most thought-provoking of those contributions.

1. Sacrifice and Pain Are Inevitable

The question we posed surfaced problems that all of us, sooner or later, must face. These are not simple problems; they seem insurmountable, they touch us personally, and—even when they carry no personal blame—they cast a shadow over the meaning of our entire lives. Sometimes they are small things, sometimes enormous, but the journey of our lives comes to a standstill at precisely these points: in marriage, in the workplace, in the relationship with one’s children. You find yourself facing someone you love, for whom you would give your life, and yet you can do nothing if they go elsewhere, if they die, or—worse still—if an illness wears them down and you watch them being destroyed before your eyes.

One contribution read as follows. I’m reading it not to dramatize the situation, but because anyone might find herself, like this woman, facing whatever sacrifice life is demanding of her right now: “I have two daughters who were diagnosed late with an autism spectrum disorder, with all the consequences that followed from that delay. Over the past two years, everything has come to a head. A process has begun that will certainly not end soon and that will, in any case, shape them for the rest of their lives.”

Each of us carries something like this—a boulder that looms in our path, a struggle that makes life feel permanently defined by that weight. As Giussani said—quoted in the lesson—“sacrifice is impossible to avoid, and looming over everything is the greatest sacrifice one can conceive, which is to die.”4 We rebel against sacrifice because we are not made for death. We recoil from the very idea that our lives must pass through it—whether it goes by the name of Monday morning, the grinding demands of work, or a spouse or child who is not well.

The image of the boulder comes to me from the account of St. Joseph’s apparition at Cotignac—one of only two apparitions he ever made—where he appeared to an exhausted shepherd who had been searching for water and was slowly letting himself die on a mountainside with his entire flock. St. Joseph appeared before him and said: “Move that boulder, and you will find water.” The boulder was so enormous it took eight men to shift it.5

And yet it is precisely when we find ourselves face to face with conditions we cannot escape that we are called to take a step toward maturity. I can never be grateful enough for having met a man like Fr. Giussani, who wrote in the tenth chapter of The Religious Sense: “An individual who has experienced little impact with reality—because, for example, he has had very little effort to make—will have a weak sense of his own conscience; he will perceive less of the energy and vibration of his reason.”6 The unavoidable sacrifice, then, can become an occasion for genuine self-knowledge.

This suggests a first word about Lent. Lent is not a season for complaining about our sacrifices, nor for adopting techniques to make them more bearable. It is an opportunity to face them directly—as Christ faced his temptations at the outset of his mission—and to discover that behind them lies a chance to become aware of who we are, and of who truly makes us happy.

2. The Collapse of Idols

If each of us pauses to consider the boulder that looms in our path, the first thing we notice is that many false ideals crumble before it. Giussani observed that when we face these struggles, “everything is swept away by a terrible wind that annihilates everything and reduces it to nothing.”7 This, I believe, is the meaning of the Ash Wednesday rite at the beginning of Lent. How many efforts, how many attempts—and what remains of them? Ashes.

When a person truly struggles—under the pressure of the sacrifices life imposes—he realizes the futility of friends and teachers who counsel lightness. We cannot find comfort in wise advice. The burden and the darkness remain.

This comes through clearly in many contributions. Faith can feel tacked onto life with scotch tape; what remains concrete is suffering, helplessness, the sense of futility. To speak of Christ’s death and resurrection begins to sound like the refuge of those who refuse to face reality. One person wrote: “When I’m going through a trial, hearing people say ‘accept the sacrifice of these circumstances’ gets on my nerves.” Another: “Offer it up? Yes, I did that somewhat blindly—but it never became the cornerstone of my life.” Another: “There’s always someone suggesting that the given circumstance is the one chosen for me. Easy for you to say, since you’re not in it.” And one more: “Someone used to tell me, ‘Everything makes sense, don’t worry.’ And I, inside myself, would tell them to go to hell, because this struggle makes no sense to me. Worse still, when someone told me that God never gives trials that a person’s shoulders cannot bear, I would reply: ‘Did God tell you that? Because it certainly doesn’t seem that way to me.’”

One contribution was particularly jarring:

“For two months I’ve been trying to accept a situation—something that went wrong—but I just can’t do it. Life is otherwise going great: new job prospects, miracles here and there, encounters. But at this stage of my life, nothing is enough. Because that one thing that went wrong—that’s where everything is decided, even the war in Iran. Even artificial intelligence compliments me: apparently I’m among the five percent who can withstand pain. But even that isn’t enough. I have an open wound, and nothing is enough. Then there’s the war, a newborn who dies, wonderful friends who can’t have children, a friend unjustly betrayed by everyone. What kind of Father would want this for His own children? What Father would crucify a son? No words or morals hold up right now. Nor is it enough for me to know that two thousand years ago He rose again after three days. For it not to be a fairy tale, it must happen today. I know all the theory. But either this Father comes to save this particular longing, or it’s better to turn to Buddhism. At least I’ll spend the second half of my life in peace.”

Give Buddhism a try—but I suspect that once these questions have arisen in you, they won’t be easy to tame. If you do manage it, come tell us.

When pain overwhelms us this powerfully, the image of Jesus as a label for our well-being crumbles. We treat Him a bit like a pet dog—always agreeable, amplifying whatever we’re feeling—but when we’re feeling bad, the dog wags its tail and doesn’t understand. Christ appears only as a label for our well-being, or—to put it more precisely—as a mere name. He is the great absentee whom, by dint of repeating that we believe in Him and that He has sometimes touched us, we render almost present through consolation prizes.

When one is truly struggling, either Christ is present and alive, or the Christ reduced to a mere name is not enough. This is why Giussani was not afraid to look these situations in the face. At the beginning of At the Origin of the Christian Claim—a book whose entire aim is to speak of Jesus—he says that if we do not want Jesus to remain a mere name, we need “a careful, tender, and passionate awareness of myself” that “can open me wide and dispose me to recognize, admire, thank, and live Christ. Without this awareness, even that of Jesus Christ becomes a mere name.”10

This is what a father is—not a complicit friend who offers cheap comfort, but someone who challenges you to take the struggle seriously, to look at it to the very end. Giussani was a man, as he himself recalled in Can One (Really?!) Live Like This?, who had been teased in seminary for saying: “Life is sad, but it is better that it be sad, because otherwise it would be desperate.”11 Because life is sad—it poses these problems to you—and only if you look that sadness in the face with tenderness and depth can you discover whether there is someone alive, someone true, who does not abandon you there.

Someone shared with me a phrase attributed to Claudel: “Pain, more than an objection, is the supreme question: either it becomes a protest without an answer, or it becomes an invocation.” I would add: protest or invocation—in either case, pain is an opportunity to turn to someone, to discover whether anyone is there. Otherwise, we simply exchange advice on how to manage it, how to work around it, without ever looking it in the face.

3. The Sacrifice of Christ

I have found nothing more fitting for these questions than the sacrifice of Christ, because He never spared Himself the toil of life. There were those who urged Him to spare Himself: the crowd—“Come down from this cross!”12; Satan, at the moment of temptation13; and even His own disciples, like Peter.14 Instead, He faces it head-on—as the Gospel of Luke puts it with a strong expression15—pressing forward toward the sacrifice of His life.

The evangelist John, in the long chapters recording Jesus’s words on the night before His death, gives us a glimpse of the full awareness He carried. From chapter 17, where Jesus speaks to the Father on our behalf: “For their sake I consecrate—that is, sacrifice—myself, so that they too may be consecrated in truth.”16 I believe this describes what Christ’s entire life was: sacrificing Himself so that our sacrifices might have meaning, might be true.

Christ did not spend His life freeing people from their struggles; He first and foremost shared those struggles with them, because He was the only one who could seek out a person where they lived alone, in the darkness of their own pain—as He did with Nathanael, with the Samaritan woman, with Zacchaeus, with Peter.17 There, where we cannot reach even our own children and our closest friends, where we remain like islands to one another, He arrives and says: “Follow me.” As Luke 9 reads: “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross—He does not take it away from him—and follow me.”18

Jesus comes into the midst of the waves, meets men who are drowning, and what does He do? He does not pull them out of the water. He makes them sailors. To the point of sacrificing Himself for them. To the point of allowing Himself to be broken.

In that same discourse at the Last Supper, Jesus says to the Father: “I do not pray that you take them out of the world, but that you keep them from the Evil One. … Sanctify them in the truth.”20 In this prayer we sense the full extent of Christ’s sacrifice: the sacrifice of not being able to see His disciples finally understand how much He loved them. Yet, as He does with us, His sacrifice is to accept not seeing, to accept leaving us in trial, because He must open the way for us: “It is good for you that I go away.”21

They do not understand. They fall asleep, they betray Him, they flee, they deny Him. But He does not run after them. Precisely in the face of their failure—which is our own—He consecrates Himself to the Father for them.

This is the greatest sacrifice for Christ: to let love for the Father prevail over everything. One can make the sacrifice of a life only for a love greater than life itself: the love of the Father. As He says, the Father “is greater than I.”22

4. The True Sacrifice: Adhering to the Measure of Another for the Truth of Oneself

It is not difficult to recognize when Christ breaks into our lives, because when He arrives He reveals Himself to us, He corresponds to us as nothing else can. Yet, as He did with His disciples, He first fills us with wonder and then waits. Carrón said recently that not even wonder is used by The Mystery to deceive us.23 He amazes us, and then it is as if He steps back. He leaves us free: to follow Him or not, to decide whether we still want to carry that cross on our own—or, since He has stirred this wonder in us, whether we want to entrust the cross to Him and follow.

But this requires recognition. If He has amazed you that much, it means that perhaps He knows something more about that situation than you do. That embrace—which managed to draw you in completely and set you free—is more real. That embrace is more fitting; that embrace is more true.

Here is what true sacrifice is: not the toil of life that all human beings endure, but the need to affirm the Other in order to affirm the truth of oneself. “To affirm you … to bring the self to life, to affirm you as the purpose of the self’s action, to affirm you—this is love for you. … It is the total sacrifice of self: affirming the other.”24 This is the true Lent. Affirming the Other because the Other knows more than you, because the Other is the truth of you.

Another friend—with two sick children—writes:

“You cannot help but ask; everything in you cries out to God, every moment. You cry out not only for a miracle to make them well—for which you would give your life right away—but for the miracle that He might accompany you, that He might come in person to your home. I asked for this first, before the miracle. Because without someone who is with you, to whom do you ask for the miracle? You can only ask someone close who is with you. Well—if you invite Him, Jesus comes, He comes, He stays, He is with you in your home every day, and grants you an extraordinary journey. Because that path there—which you would never have wanted—becomes your path, and there you find your happiness. Even if the problems remain, you change. It takes time; for me, a great deal of time and a great deal of effort. It also takes a place like the Church—and for me, CL—that educates you, that helps you grow and nurtures your self, your life. God does the exact opposite of us: we pave the way for our children; He lets us find the solution ourselves. He helps us only with what is indispensable, leaves us in a mess, and waits trustingly for our move and our decision.”

You call Him and He comes. But what kind of familiar, everyday relationship is needed to speak of Christ in this way, right in the midst of the events that most overwhelm life?

Here is what is concrete. Sacrifice, says Giussani, is the struggle for the concrete against the abstract.25 The abstract is the mouflon—your idea of how your life was supposed to go, the image you had of how it should unfold. The concrete is how He came to take you, just when you were complaining that things had gone as they shouldn’t have. The concrete is the One who embraced you completely. But we reverse the proportions. This is why sacrifice requires that light and that strength—which we must ask of the Spirit—to see what is false and to recognize what endures. Giussani: “We must not be afraid of sacrifice: we must be afraid of the abstract. … The abstract is what eludes what your heart is made for, and tends to identify the concrete with the tip of the nose that you touch, with the hair that stands on end, with the stomach that aches, with the ice cream you like—and all of this is so ironically concrete that it ends up in the rot of the grave.”27

Recently, within the space of twelve hours, I heard from two friends facing similar situations. One, diagnosed with an illness that could cost her the use of her legs, asks me: “Am I wrong to ask Jesus for a miracle? Am I wrong to ask Him not to take away the use of my legs?” Twelve hours later, Father Eugenio told me about a forty-two-year-old woman who had fallen into a coma, woke from it, and found herself without her legs. As soon as she regained consciousness, she said: “Thank you.”

We, with our moralism, would say: “Well, the second one has faith, unlike the first.” And in doing so, we miss the best part. Both women are extraordinary—because both have understood that, faced with the problem of legs, the point is to entrust oneself to a relationship with Another. Whether to protest or to give thanks. And this is the sacrifice of life.

5. “Joyfully I Have Offered You Everything”

What does it mean to open oneself to the reality of Another, to a love greater than our own measure? It is not something to be explained; it is something to be lived. I offer myself; I surrender myself to this Other. Just as Christ offered Himself to the Father, so I consecrate myself. And when I offer myself, I feel at home.28

What does it mean to offer oneself? First, to whom do you offer? You offer to Christ, who offered Himself to the Father—you offer as He does, following Him. You do not offer something; you offer yourself, first and foremost. Like a child who offers himself to his father’s arms to see the stars in the sky—to see what he cannot see on his own. You surrender yourself completely to go where you cannot go on your own two feet. The request that He reveal Himself amidst life’s struggles becomes, first and foremost, an offering of ourselves: “Take me first, just as I am—grateful or angry, stubborn and unable to resign myself, or full of sins. But, please, take me so that I may see myself as You see me.”

When one offers not just something at random—as a superstitious gesture—but offers oneself to Christ as a living Presence, something remarkable happens. He takes a piece of your cross—the heaviest part—and makes it light. It hurts, but you are joyful, because you are with Him. This yoke is sweet and this burden is light, just as He promised.31

Marco Gallo wrote one of the most beautiful insights on sacrifice and happiness: “It is entirely possible to endure the pain of sacrifice and at the same time be happy: while I do it, I am happy, because I know that my pain will be transformed into another’s joy.”32

We see this joy in St. Francis, now that the centenary of his death approaches. He asks: what is true joy? Not that all the friars and intellectuals of France enter the Order. Not the conversion of royalty. Not success among unbelievers, nor effective miracles. He describes arriving back from Perugia late at night, in a muddy winter season so cold that icicles form at the hem of his habit. He reaches the door, knocks, calls out at length. A friar comes: “Who is it?” “Friar Francis.” “Go away—this is no decent hour; you shall not enter.” He keeps insisting. “Go away, you are a simpleton and an idiot; we have no need of you.” He remains before the door: “For God’s sake, take me in for this night.” “I will not do it. Go to the place of the Crociferi.” “I tell you,” Francis concludes, “that if I have had patience and have not been troubled—in this there is true joy and true virtue and the salvation of the soul.”33

This experience of joy was true first and foremost for Christ Himself as He ascended Golgotha and entrusted everything into the Father’s hands. As Ratzinger liked to say: He transformed an act of hatred into an act of love.34 We too can transform the injustice we suffer into an act of love.

6. “I Fulfill the Sufferings of Christ in My Flesh”

For those who have this intimacy with Christ, a unique experience may arise: not only the surprise that He lightens your burden when you entrust yourself to Him, but such a love, such an affection for Christ, that you feel the desire—at certain moments—to take upon yourself a little of His pain, which is so great and so unjust.35 And it may happen that at that moment the wound hurts a little more, and the weight of certain old sorrows makes itself felt again—as indicated by the stigmata of Brother Francis, or the dark night of Mother Teresa. Yet you know that you are bearing them for Him and with Him.

The theologian Jean Daniélou has an expression that has always struck me: “And one understands how there are certain souls—those souls that make up the saints—who wish to console God for so many disappointments, and strive to respond a little less poorly to His expectation, presenting Him with a vineyard where He can rest His gaze for a moment, giving Him the joy of seeing that all the pain He endures is not entirely lost.”36

This is the culmination of sacrifice. You can recognize that unjust suffering can not only be alleviated by offering it to Christ, but can become a gesture of friendship, a sharing in His suffering—because He asks you to be, already now in this world, a living sign of Himself, of His glory: a place where wounds do not repel but attract, so beautiful are they.37

I would not speak of these things this way had I not been struck, as a college student exhausted by exam sessions, by a passage from Giussani. It was 1945; he had been ordained just a few months earlier. He falls ill and immediately sets to studying. He writes to his friend Angelo Majo:

“And now I return to my books. From March until today—and it is August—except for the brief interlude of my first Mass—I have been bent over my books, with an intensity of study perfectly similar to that, so demanding, of the classical high school diploma. Am I tired? This limitation, this solitude, this silent and arduous renunciation of the lively outpouring of affection that wells up in my heart is truly a great sacrifice. I would do it for my whole life. Precisely because it is pure sacrifice, the most acute sacrifice, a silent and unnoticed sacrifice. The only thing that brings happiness to men is the Cross, our Cross, and only It; I do not want to be a ‘deceiver’—as Balzac said—of my poor fellow men. I do not want to live in vain: it is my obsession. And then, between two close friends, what is desired? The aspiration of friendship is union; it is to identify with, to blend into, to become the same person, the same likeness as the Friend. But Jesus is on the Cross. The greatest joy of our life is the one that, with every small or great suffering, makes us discover: ‘Behold, now you are more like Him,’ more ‘blended with Him.’ Life for the happiness of men, for the friendship of Jesus.”38

Thus, in a mysterious way, this friendship makes you a participant in that dawn that entered the world with the resurrection of Jesus. And He, through that little piece of the cross you carry, may be helping—says Giussani—someone living in Japan, or those fighting in a war, or those in danger at sea.39 What I know is that I can accept—not only following Him, but for Him—the sacrifice that life imposes on me at this moment.

Editorila notes not reviewed by the Author

Notes

Descend, Holy Spirit, music by A. Schweitzer; text (Italian version) by Msgr. E. Galbiati.

C. Chieffo, To Love Again, in Claudio Chieffo, 1983.

Cf. G. Paccosi, “One loves what does not last only in the name of what can last,” in Id., We Have Known Love, Editrice Nuovo Mondo, Milan 2025, pp. 51–72.

L. Giussani, Si può vivere così?, BUR Rizzoli, Milan 2007, p. 387.

For further information on this subject, see the website of the Shrine located at the site of the apparition (https://www.saintjosephcotignac.com).

L. Giussani, The Religious Sense, Rizzoli, Milan 2023, p. 139.

L. Giussani, Can One Live Like This?, op. cit., p. 385.

Cf. Ps 49:13.

Indigo Girls, Closer to the End, 1989.

10  L. Giussani, At the Origin of the Christian Claim, BUR Rizzoli, Milan 2025, p. 3.

11  Cf. L. Giussani, Can One (Really?!) Live Like This?, BUR Rizzoli, Milan 2002, p. 500.

12  Cf. Mk 15:29–32.

13  Cf. Mt 4:1–11.

14  Cf. Mt 16:23; Jn 11:16.

15  Cf. Lk 9:23.

16  Jn 17:19.

17  Cf. Jn 1:45–51; 4:1–42; Lk 5:1–11; 19:1–10.

18  Lk 9:23.

19  L. Cohen, Suzanne, 1967.

20  Jn 17:15–17.

21  Jn 16:7.

22  “You have heard me say to you, ‘I am going away, and I am coming back to you’; if you loved me, you would rejoice that I am going to the Father, for the Father is greater than I” (Jn 14:28).

23  Cf. J. Carrón, https://www.epochalchange.org/veil-and-ember/more-than-a-mere-name

24  L. Giussani, Si può vivere così?, op. cit., p. 394.

25  Cf. L. Giussani, Can One Live Like This?, op. cit., pp. 404–405.

26  Cf. Mt 16:26.

27  L. Giussani, Can One Live Like This?, op. cit., p. 405.

28  Cf. 1 Chr 29:17.

29  Roo Panes, Home from Home, 2014.

30  See note 5 above.

31  Cf. Mt 11:30.

32  M. Gallo, Anche i sassi si sarebbero messi a saltellare, Itaca, Castel Bolognese (RA) 2016, p. 45.

33  St. Francis, Laudi and Prayers. On True and Perfect Joy, Franciscan Sources, 278.

34  “What from the outside is brutal violence—the crucifixion—from the inside becomes an act of love that gives itself totally,” in Benedict XVI, Homily, Cologne, August 21, 2005 (https://www.vatican.va/content/benedict-xvi/it/homilies/2005/documents/hf_ben-xvi_hom_20050821_20th-world-youth-day.html).

35  Cf. Col 1:24.

36  J. Daniélou, Essay on the mystery of history, Morcelliana, Brescia 2012³, p. 190.

37  Cf. Jn 12:32; 19:37.

38  L. Giussani, Letters of Faith and Friendship to Angelo Majo, San Paolo, Cinisello Balsamo 2007, pp. 32–33.

39  Cf. L. Giussani, Can One Live Like This?, op. cit., p. 390.

40  C. Chieffo, Father, 1971.

Pierluigi Banna

Pierluigi Banna, born in 1984, is an Italian Catholic theologian and clergyman. He holds a PhD in Systematic Theology and History, teaching at the Faculty of Theology of Northern Italy and Catholic University in Milan. Banna's research focuses on patristics and early Christianity's relationship with ancient philosophy. He actively contributes to academic discourse, exploring faith, reason, and contemporary cultural issues.

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