The Love that Comes First

Black-and-white photo of weathered concrete fence posts with bent tops on a misty hillside above a valley

Where do we begin? To know where to begin, we need only go back to the origin: to the most powerful thing God did for them—and so for us.

“This is what unifies a fragmented life: not a thousand rules, but a memory that accompanies every moment, from the time we open our eyes in the morning until we close them at night.”
— Julián Carrón
Julián Carrón The love that comes first

Julián Carrón - Before any commandment comes a memory: we were loved first. Everything starts from there.

“Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?” It’s not an idle question. According to Jewish tradition, the Torah—the Law—contains no fewer than 613 precepts. Without a clear sense of what truly mattered, it was easy to get lost. We run the same risk: scattering ourselves across a thousand duties, a thousand rules, a thousand things to do. And instead of coming together, life breaks apart even further. We can be busy people and remain scattered.

So where do we begin?

Scripture gives a surprising answer. There is a beautiful passage in Deuteronomy where Moses imagines a son one day asking his father, “What do these decrees and statutes and ordinances mean?” The father doesn’t answer with a list of rules. He tells the story of his people: “We were once slaves of Pharaoh in Egypt, but the Lord brought us out of Egypt with a strong hand” (Dt 6:20–21). We heard the same thing in today’s first reading: “You were once aliens yourselves in the land of Egypt.” To know where to begin, we need only go back to the origin: to the most powerful thing God did for them—and so for us.

By bringing Israel out of Egypt, God showed a people of slaves—people who counted for nothing in the world’s eyes—what He would later say through the prophet Isaiah: “You are precious in my eyes and honored, and I love you” (Is 43:4). No pharaoh, no power, and nothing the world can offer comes close to the way God looks at each one of us.

This is what the Shema expresses—the prayer Jesus quotes in the Gospel: “Hear, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone! Therefore, you shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength” (Dt 6:4–5). Notice the first word: hear. The first thing to do is listen—that is, remember the most important thing that has ever happened to us, and let ourselves be reached by the One who loved us first.

For Jews, it is the first prayer a child learns and the last one spoken at the hour of death. A whole life fits inside these words. Deuteronomy tells us to “recite them when you are at home and when you are away, when you lie down and when you get up,” to “bind them on your arm as a sign,” and to “write them on the doorposts of your houses” (Dt 6:7–9). This is what unifies a fragmented life: not a thousand rules, but a memory that accompanies every moment, from the time we open our eyes in the morning until we close them at night.

When someone favors us like this, what is the most reasonable response? To yield to this preference and let it carry us. That’s what happens when we discover that someone loves us: we don’t need a rulebook to love them back—it comes naturally. And so we discover what matters most in life: never to lose this love and always to live from it.

Those who know they are loved like this can’t look at their neighbor except with the eyes of that love. That is why Jesus adds, “The second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” This isn’t a second duty stacked on the first, one more burden to carry. It is the same love, overflowing toward everyone we meet along the way.

And not only toward our neighbor. Out of the overflow of this preference springs a new way of being present to everything: waking up in the morning, an unexpected circumstance, our daily work, weariness, illness, and relationships. Things fall into place not because we control them better, but because there is a center from which we look at everything. This is how a fragmented life becomes a unified one.

Jesus doesn’t just point to the center—He is the center. Who has favored me so much that He gave me life and filled it with His love, to the point of giving His own life for me? He has. He told His disciples at the Last Supper, “No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends…” (Jn 15:13–14). In Him, God’s preference is no longer just a memory of Egypt. It is a face, a presence, a friend.

The Christians of Thessalonica understood this well. In the second reading, Saint Paul praises them because they turned from idols “to serve the living and true God.” And from them the word of the Lord rang out everywhere. They didn’t proselytize; their changed lives spoke for themselves.

In answering the scholar of the law, Jesus shows us what we can start from again each day, whenever we feel we’re falling to pieces: the love that is always there for us.

Notes not reviewed by the author.

Julián Carrón

Julián Carrón, born in 1950 in Spain, is a Catholic priest and theologian. Ordained in 1975, he obtained a degree in Theology from Comillas Pontifical University. Carrón has held professorships at prestigious institutions, including the Catholic University of the Sacred Heart in Milan. In 2004, he moved to Milan at the request of Fr. Luigi Giussani, founder of Communion and Liberation. Following Giussani's death in 2005, Carrón became President of the Fraternity of Communion and Liberation, a position he held until 2021. Known for his work on Gospel historicity, Carrón has published extensively and participated in Church synods, meeting with both Pope Benedict XVI and Pope Francis.

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